Thursday, April 12, 2018

victimized


yellow bleeds from your pores
the sun lies deep within your eyes
don’t analyze, let your soul guide
you through these tough times

don’t let these tears glide
don’t let the salt erode your exterior
don’t run away, you’re a warrior   
escape from the downside

you cannot be paralyzed, don’t be traumatized
hold on to your pride and let your light shine
you cannot be terrorized, don’t be brutalized
i wanna see you rise and not be victimized

drive fast in your car
windows down, your breakthrough
tragic visions in the rearview
no more inhibition   

you cannot be paralyzed, don’t be traumatized
keep the bright in your eye, don’t vilify
you cannot be terrorized, don’t be brutalized
i wanna see you rise and not be victimized

you’re a gifted spirit, your energy wild
let your aura shine, let your fears unwind
harness the light from within
break down the barrier
that keeps you in

you cannot be paralyzed, don’t be traumatized
hold on to your pride and let your light shine
you cannot be terrorized, don’t be brutalized
i wanna see you rise and not be victimized

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

tough love

your aura glows like an amber flare
calling for search and rescue
but the flames have burned out
sending smoke but no help
and it's fucking dark out there

your smile fades deep into your soul
like your body into your bed
but you're cold and alone
confused and ungrown
and it's fucking dark out there

where did you go? you can't sleep all day
you're converting to a fragment of doubt
where did you? don't turn away
you can't outrun the truth

i'll give you that tough love, ain't it a bitch
i'll be the first one, to call out your shit
it's that tough love that we run from
to escape from the truth and not bandage the wound

your losing your grip, it's hard to hold on
your grasp is weak, voice gets thin
but you can't stand up straight
or walk through the door
because it's fucking scary out there

where did you go? you can't drink all day
suddenly you forgot how to swim
where did you go? you can't runaway
its time that you face the truth

i'll give you that tough love, ain't it a bitch
i'll be the first one, to call out your shit
it's that tough love that we run from
to escape from the truth and not bandage the wound

when there's no right way, no wrong way; how are we supposed to find our way?
when your anguish is met with anguish you feel like you've hit a brick wall
you've been hit and pushed back down unsure that you could hold your ground.

i'll give you that tough love, ain't it a bitch
i'll be the first one, to call out your shit
it's that tough love that we run from
to escape from the truth and not bandage the wound

Monday, April 25, 2016

reflecting on coachella/music



I was a very singular person when it came to music. I held on to one artist and let her journey be the voice of my own. It worked. It was beautiful. I cried and the music cried, I laughed and the music smiled back. The act of listening to music was therapeutic, cathartic, numbing, exhilarating; each word flowed through my veins and I relished in a very singular connection with it. 

Cue Lana Del Rey. The turning point for me. She was forced into my life by a close friend of mine and I don’t think that friend realizes the door she opened. I was growing tired of the old and I didn’t even realize it. I was forcing personal anthems to define multiple milestones and tragedies in my life. I was holding on to a nostalgic feeling to bring comfort within comfort. Then I heard her hum and lyrics that were so damn unique and relatable. I took the dive into uncharted waters. 

I'm tired of feeling like I'm fucking crazy
I'm tired of driving 'till I see stars in my eyes
I look up to hear myself saying, baby
Too much I strive, I just ride

This is when I realized there was other music out there. Maybe in a world with so many options becomes a problem. There was too much for me to choose from so I just stayed listening to the same. With Lana came a fascination for discovering new music. I used to think only lyrics were relatable. How can a song with no words fuel passion, desire, heartache, lust, and an overall sense of euphoria? Well, the truth is… it fucking can. And boy does it. I quietly asked a few friends and family member’s to share their latest music passions with me. I wanted to experience as many new artists as I could.

Cut to January when the Coachella lineup was released. I knew I had to go, despite how much I bashed the festival in the past for everything I thought it stood for. M83, Chrvches, Borns, Ellie Goulding, Disclosure, etc... Coachella was one of the best weekends of my life. It took music from such a singular felling to a global feeling. What I thought would be crowds obsessed with themselves and people closed down to the outside was thousands of people feeling the same emotion at the same time. There was such a connection amongst everyone and music was that thread. So many different walks of life with so many stories to tell, merging with the music and letting the music take them home.

Music has such a new meaning to me now. Live music especially.

Thursday, March 17, 2016

crazy



You thought I was crazy
Asking you for a hit
I said pass the joint, I want in on it
And just like that, I breached your group
I peaked your interest
And secured commitment
Outside adventure
We found peace in nature
I’d take you out and we’d explore
On the edge of Mulholland
Kept us on our toes
Craving more

We were crazy fools
Caught in a fantasy
We looked past the signs
That pointed to the end
We had crazy thoughts
And tandem sparks
There was no compromise
Cause at that time
We just simply clicked

And you said I was crazy
Underneath the sheets
And you loved my curiosity
And dedication to complete
I lost my inhibitions
The bed was our canvass
We would make art
When we’d make love
You’d hold me down and take control
We’d flip the script and swap roles
My sideways grin
Your enticing wink

We were crazy fools
Caught in a fantasy
We looked past the signs
That pointed to the end
We had crazy eyes
Focused on the lust
There was no compromise
Cause at that time
We just simply clicked

But then you turned crazy
With extrapolating thoughts
You couldn’t hold water
Yet we were drowning
I had fallen down
Beaten by your words
You would throw an insult
But then kiss my neck
I’d had it of your inconsistent
I kicked you out of bed
Stood my ground
Turned my back

I was a crazy fool
Caught in a mind fuck
I looked past the signs
That pointed to the end
You had crazy thoughts
That put out the spark
There was no compromise
Cause at that time
I had simply quit

Monday, March 7, 2016

baggage



i can only see on the weekends
‘gotta wake up early to get you home
you only call me when you’re alone
can’t be of earshot or in the next room
you only text when he’s not looking
don’t forget to clear your history

all these damn circumstances
that get in the way of us
when I met you, I met the red flags
and when i saw your tattoos
i fell for your swag
lost control, no common sense

you have more baggage than an airport
how was i dumb enough to think it’d work
i ignored the obvious like clockwork
i can’t blame you ‘cause you disclosed it

you’ll lie about where you’re going
i’ll drop you off down the corner
this behavior i’ve enabled
got me backed into a corner

all these damn circumstances
that get in the way of us
when I met you, I met the red flags
and when i saw your green eyes
i fell for your grin
lost control, no common sense

please check your baggage at the airport
how was i dumb enough to think it’d work
looking past it was so damn kneejerk
i can’t blame you ‘cause you disclosed it

i wore your weight on my shoulders
i was never truly off my guard
i couldn’t open up exposure
with your baggage in one hand
and his in the other
there was never room for me

you have more baggage than an airport
how was i dumb enough to think it’d work
i ignored the obvious like clockwork
i can’t blame you ‘cause you disclosed it

please check your baggage at the airport
how was i dumb enough to think it’d work
looking past it was so damn kneejerk
i can’t blame you ‘cause you disclosed it