Monday, April 25, 2016

why Coachella changed my life



I was a very singular person when it came to music. I held on to one artist and let her journey be the voice of my own. It worked. It was beautiful. I cried and the music cried, I laughed and the music smiled back. The act of listening to music was therapeutic, cathartic, numbing, exhilarating; each word flowed through my veins and I relished in a very singular connection with it. 

Cue Lana Del Rey. The turning point for me. She was forced into my life by a close friend of mine and I don’t think that friend realizes the door she opened. I was growing tired of the old and I didn’t even realize it. I was forcing personal anthems to define multiple milestones and tragedies in my life. I was holding on to a nostalgic feeling to bring comfort within comfort. Then I heard her hum and lyrics that were so damn unique and relatable. I took the dive into uncharted waters. 

I'm tired of feeling like I'm fucking crazy
I'm tired of driving 'till I see stars in my eyes
I look up to hear myself saying, baby
Too much I strive, I just ride

This is when I realized there was other music out there. Maybe in a world with so many options becomes a problem. There was too much for me to choose from so I just stayed listening to the same. With Lana came a fascination for discovering new music. I used to think only lyrics were relatable. How can a song with no words fuel passion, desire, heartache, lust, and an overall sense of euphoria? Well, the truth is… it fucking can. And boy does it. I quietly asked a few friends and family member’s to share their latest music passions with me. I wanted to experience as many new artists as I could.

Cut to January when the Coachella lineup was released. I knew I had to go, despite how much I bashed the festival in the past for everything I thought it stood for. M83, Chrvches, Borns, Ellie Goulding, Disclosure, etc... Coachella was one of the best weekends of my life. It took music from such a singular felling to a global feeling. What I thought would be crowds obsessed with themselves and people closed down to the outside was thousands of people feeling the same emotion at the same time. There was such a connection amongst everyone and music was that thread. So many different walks of life with so many stories to tell, merging with the music and letting the music take them home.

Music has such a new meaning to me now. Live music especially.

Thursday, March 17, 2016

crazy



You thought I was crazy
Asking you for a hit
I said pass the joint, I want in on it
And just like that, I breached your group
I peaked your interest
And secured commitment
Outside adventure
We found peace in nature
I’d take you out and we’d explore
On the edge of Mulholland
Kept us on our toes
Craving more

We were crazy fools
Caught in a fantasy
We looked past the signs
That pointed to the end
We had crazy thoughts
And tandem sparks
There was no compromise
Cause at that time
We just simply clicked

And you said I was crazy
Underneath the sheets
And you loved my curiosity
And dedication to complete
I lost my inhibitions
The bed was our canvass
We would make art
When we’d make love
You’d hold me down and take control
We’d flip the script and swap roles
My sideways grin
Your enticing wink

We were crazy fools
Caught in a fantasy
We looked past the signs
That pointed to the end
We had crazy eyes
Focused on the lust
There was no compromise
Cause at that time
We just simply clicked

But then you turned crazy
With extrapolating thoughts
You couldn’t hold water
Yet we were drowning
I had fallen down
Beaten by your words
You would throw an insult
But then kiss my neck
I’d had it of your inconsistent
I kicked you out of bed
Stood my ground
Turned my back

I was a crazy fool
Caught in a mind fuck
I looked past the signs
That pointed to the end
You had crazy thoughts
That put out the spark
There was no compromise
Cause at that time
I had simply quit

Monday, March 7, 2016

baggage



i can only see on the weekends
‘gotta wake up early to get you home
you only call me when you’re alone
can’t be of earshot or in the next room
you only text when he’s not looking
don’t forget to clear your history

all these damn circumstances
that get in the way of us
when I met you, I met the red flags
and when i saw your tattoos
i fell for your swag
lost control, no common sense

you have more baggage than an airport
how was i dumb enough to think it’d work
i ignored the obvious like clockwork
i can’t blame you ‘cause you disclosed it

you’ll lie about where you’re going
i’ll drop you off down the corner
this behavior i’ve enabled
got me backed into a corner

all these damn circumstances
that get in the way of us
when I met you, I met the red flags
and when i saw your green eyes
i fell for your grin
lost control, no common sense

please check your baggage at the airport
how was i dumb enough to think it’d work
looking past it was so damn kneejerk
i can’t blame you ‘cause you disclosed it

i wore your weight on my shoulders
i was never truly off my guard
i couldn’t open up exposure
with your baggage in one hand
and his in the other
there was never room for me

you have more baggage than an airport
how was i dumb enough to think it’d work
i ignored the obvious like clockwork
i can’t blame you ‘cause you disclosed it

please check your baggage at the airport
how was i dumb enough to think it’d work
looking past it was so damn kneejerk
i can’t blame you ‘cause you disclosed it

Sunday, December 6, 2015

if i died tomorrow


if i died tomorrow
i want you to know i’ve lived free
i was true to myself and who i wanted to be

if i died tomorrow
i’d die happily because my friends and family
were supportive and nurturing

if i died tomorrow
let me tell you my dreams came true
both in my career and all my worldly travels

i live each day like it’s my last night
i solider through and remember to laugh
i don’t take myself too seriously
i feel each breath and every scent

if i died tomorrow
i can say i have no regrets
i’ve channeled that energy to learn from hindsight

if i died tomorrow
i’d die happily cause i didn’t let money own me
nor an archaic religion

i live each day like it’s my last night
i solider through and remember to laugh
i don’t take myself too seriously
i feel each breath and every scent

in this fucked up world, we’ve lost control
our time can come in a chaotic swirl
but when the dust settles and light goes out
i’ll be dancing in the dark
celebrating my every step
giving thanks to gods for this temporal trek

if i died tomorrow
i want you to know i’ve lived free
i was true to myself and who i wanted to be

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

insanity



humanity is insanity
i've learned as it resonates 
so i meditate to capacitate
to ground my growing vanity

and i climb up jacobs ladder
my solutions a revolution
a mind fuck, served on a platter
an awakening of the grandeur

just stop for a minute and breathe
learn what it's like to receive
let it in and let it right out
cleanse the soul so you can be free

salvation or starvation 
that's how we groom our destination
an epidemic of schizophrenic
is what they lead you to believe

and i'm held down by the doses
cause there's always a diagnosis
a label to the enigma
if you're not happy it's a stigma

so just stop for a minute and breathe
learn what it's like to receive
let it in and let it right out
cleanse the soul so you can be free

half-moon: let the orbit ground you
downward dog: to your new true north
let in and let it all out
and you'll see with divine clarity
the insanity within our vanity

just stop for a minute and breathe
learn what it's like to receive
let it in and let it right out
cleanse the soul so you can be free